Make more money.
No, I am just kidding. I don’t believe money equals happiness (although I swear I saw some study about upper-income, but not super rich people being slightly happier…whatever). But in my situation at the moment, I can’t have any fear about trying to make lots and lots of money. In fact…I HAVE to make lots and lots of money. Pressure, huh?
The House
I met with a real estate agent this week who specializes in short sales (99% of what he does is short sales). The guy knows his stuff, and I think this is the route I need to go with my house. So, I’ve made my deicion on that, and he will be dealing with the 1st and 2nd mortages on his end, which will be nice. One less thing for me to worry about.
This means I can now update my budget to completly exclude any mortage payments (not that I could pay any anyway at the moment. I’m going to do a budget online somewhere (I looked at budgetsimple and pearbudget)
The Business
Business stuff is going OK. Expenses are running around 5K a month, and revenue is hovering right about 7K a month at the moment. I have not been selling our advertising packages for a few weeks now and have been soley working on our existing clients and improving their service and return on investment. We’ve had some people drop out, but longer term, I think this new project which I lauched about 6 months will be stable in a few more month (assuming I can keep all the balls in the air until then) and should ramp up to around 10K-12K a month before the market is tapped out for what we are doing. Hopefully I can get us to 12K by June.
I’m doing some exciting stuff at work. Now that I am not trading and staying up 20 a hours a day doing that, my mind has been much more creative and able to focus almost 100% on building the business. Also, my interactions with my employees and even my friends have been much better since I tapped all my money out about 2 months ago.
And for anyone curious, no, I have not traded since I stopped two months ago and really took stock of what I had done. I have no intention of ever doing it again. It has no appeal to me whatsoever anymore. I have many other good things in my life I can focus on. I do not worry about falling back into that bad habit again.
The Life
My life is going OK. I feel I am at a HUGE transistion point. I’ve come to terms with how I had been living the past 3 years (basically a huge lie), and I’ve told all my close family. I’ve still yet to tell any of my friends yet, and I’m not sure that I will. If I end up having to declare bankruptcy or they house vultures show up in another month, some may find out.
My goal is to get myself doing well enough so that I can feel comfortable telling them in like 2 years or something when I have everything paid off (that is my goal….2 years, if I can get through this summer…). But for now, I’ve told my family, and I feel comfortable with that. I’ve made other mistakes in my life, some fairly big, and sometimes you tell people, sometimes you don’t. It’s not that I’m hiding anything, you know, its just not everyone needs to know everything about your past. Maybe I’ll write a book someday and I can air all my mistakes then! That would be the day.
I actually feel pretty good as of late. I’m stressed for sure. I still have to do the 2006 taxes for my business, and I have a zillion other things to do at work, but I’m handling it OK. It’s just such a relief to feel more like an honest person now that I am not trading. My business is honestly doing OK, and so when people ask, its very nice to be able to be upfront and exciting about what I am doing. I haven’t been able to do this for like 2 years, so its very freeing.
The Girl
or lack there of.
I am in no position to be dating…right? The thing is…I haven’t dated anyone for almost 2 years now. And now that I am feeling honest with myself and a little more confidant…I actually feel like I want to date someone.
Worst timing ever, right?
Maybe yes, maybe no. Let’s say I actually do make it through the next few months, and maybe into the fall. Without my house payments…suddenly all my debts + business expenses is under 9K a month. So, say a few hundred for groceries (my insurance, and car and cell phone are all under business expenses), and some social money, and suddenly now I only need 10K (only 10K!) a month to pay all my bills.
I’m at 9K right now! (with my 1500 a month from roomates…and that is only for 2 more months).
So, its looking possible. Granted, I need to add in a payment plan to the IRS that I haven’t set up yet, so maybe more like 11K a month. But that is possible…
So back to dating. My thing here is…yes, I made some huge mistakes. But should I completly put my life on hold and punish myself to death for the next 2 years? I just don’t know if that is the best move life wise.
I just don’t know.
I just don’t know about alot of things these days.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t think you can or should try to put your life on hold. Dating doesn’t mean you have to get really serious with a girl, of course. Frankly, this might be a good test of character–if someone is interested in you at this point in your life you’ll know it’s not because of your money! That sounds harsh but could very well be the truth.
We all make mistakes in life. Yours is a big one financially but morally, not so big. At 23, you have plenty of time to recover from this, one way or another, and it will be character-building. I don’t know if you can avoid bankruptcy, but it’s good that you’re trying.
Hey, excellent job. I can definitely relate with you. I played the market and almost fell in a hole myself as well. I am glad you have picked yourself up and creating a business. You probably aren’t going to reveal what you do here. I probably wouldn’t myself if I were in your shoes. However when you take care of the situation, I am sure many would not mind doing business with you (assuming your provide service/products that we need). Then you would have proven your responsibility, ability to lead, delagate work, responsible, willing to learn and seek help / solution.
As for a girl, if you are up front with her, and she accepts who you are and what you’ve done and what you are doing, then she could be your soul mate. Who says dating have to be expensive? This could actually your best time to find the gal who’s understanding, forgiving, caring, devoted and responsible.
Again best of luck.
I’m curious what exactly your business is selling. I might be interested, care to share a link? Private email is OK.
Well you could always date a boy!