Testing myself.

Sorry I haven’t been posting as much but my Grandmother passed away on Saturday. And the last few weeks have been pretty intense with visiting the hospital and saying good-byes. I am physically and emotionally exhausted.

Pop quiz.

I have felt like the last few days have been a test for me not shop. This is the type of situation that would push me to spend.  On Monday I was at Super Target buying groceries.  I could hear the little voice in my head telling me to buy something for myself because it would make me feel better.  I ignored it and continued to shop.

The cookies.

While I was passing the cookie and cracker isle I saw a box of Pecan Sandies. These were the cookies that my grandparents had on hand all the time.  I started crying and quickly left the isle. A moment later the voice came back telling me that I have nothing to wear to the memorial and that I should go find something.  I know that this is not true because I had already picked out my outfit.  While fighting this internal battle of words I must have been making some weird faces because people were in return giving me weird looks back.

I passed!

I finished up my shopping, paid and left without spending anything extra.  I am really starting to feel like I am getting this under control.  I am proud of myself for not giving in to myself.

Best regards,

Maeghen