It does get crazy to try and tell our kids that an education is worth the expense, when one has to struggle so much to get past the debt.

I didn’t mean to imply otherwise. You’re absolutely right about the effect of time on debtkid’s monther vs on himself. I just didn’t think that prioritizing his mom above all his huge interest loans was prudent. As I said beforeL: if she were just another creditor (ie: not his very understanding mother) IF he’s not paying her interest, and IF he weren’t going to still be her son in 20 years (when she can move in with him right…riggggghtttt?… ) then she would not be a priority.

But she ain’t, and she is a priority, clearly, if he’s repaying 400/month (and good on ya I say!), which is, I believe, as it should be

DK, I know this is a tough spot your in – trying to balance it all. I just urge you to follow your heart, it’s not always about the numbers.

Actually paying down your other debts before your mom probably makes way more economic sense.

Without knowing any details, I’m assuming your mom isn’t charging you interest. That, as I’m sure you know, is a HUGE difference between that and most of your other debts. So if he were to pretend that his mom was just simply another creditor, it wouldn’t make much sense to prioritize her over the other debts with hefty interest rates.

That being said, she’s your mom. You will eventually pay her back in full, and I’m sure that all this has inspired you to help her out in the future if ever the case may be, when you are in a better position to do so.

As far as my mom’s perspectives on all this….she knows how much this weighs on me personally and is being as supportive as possible. As long as I can send $400 a month, there is no rush to her to repay the debt (although there of course is to me). This debt to my mother is the one that gets me the most though…of all the stupid things I did…this one takes the cake.

You’ve said your debts have been discharged – I didn’t realize you had completed the bankruptcy process – could you give us an update on how it went, the steps, what was discharged and what wasn’t. It would be great to see how far you’ve come (i.e., a spreadsheet of your initial debts, those that were “forgiven” or written off in the bankruptcy process, and your current debts that weren’t charged off – such as the IRS, student loans, and your mom). Perhaps, now that the bankruptcy is completed, you could do a bar graph on the side that shows each of these and how they are being reduced.

And, as I’ve said before, please focus on repayment of your Mom’s funds before anything else. My suggestion, focus your energies on making it right to your Mom and make minimum payments on all other debts. (For instance, if you your minimum monthly payment for your student loans is only $500, then pay that amount and apply the other $300 to the payments you are making to your mom.)

Once you’ve reduced the amount owed to your mom by 50% to 75%, then work with her on cutting back the repayment amount and start applying added money to those other debts.

I know I’ve said this tons – so I’m probably a broken record…. Knowing more about your mom’s situation rwould be great. For instance, how old is she? (is she in her 40s or 60s? How long until she retires?) It would also be great to know if the money she provided you was her entire retirement fund or life savings, or was it more disposable cash (i.e., she could have used it to buy a top-of-the-line BMW with cash).

What I think would be awesome is perhaps a couple of “guest” postings by your mom on the money provided, her retirement plans, her reaction to your bankruptcy, and how she thinks this situation has changed you (i.e., maturity).

Just a thought.

As always, Smart Girl

(And no, I’m not your mom following the blog!)

I feel for some reason that one day you will have all that you want! … no more debt and tons of money.

Good luck to ya

Patty D.
Torrington CT
age 41(very old lol)