The last two weeks have been crazy social for me.
And now I’m starting to go nuts.
I know I used to often complain about NOT having enough social time, but the past few weeks have just been too much for me. If It was with my close friend, and some others I’ve been hanging out with, that would be fine. But lately it’s been old high school friends, old college buddies, extended family, etc.
And the majority of those people really have little clue what’s been going on in my life the past year. So, it just makes it a little more difficult and tiring for me. I’m really not complaining, I’m just a big fan of having NOTHING on my calendar social wise. That way I’m free for whatever comes up, or anything I want to plan.
Next week will be back to normal for the most part. One of my employees is working full time this summer, so that will be a little bit of a change, but I think it will be good.
IRS Where’s Are You
I still haven’t received any official notification from the IRS on acceptance of the payment plan I proposed with them. I thought I would have heard something by now. If I don’t get something by early next week, I need to check in with them again. I want to start paying them (I owe around 28K, and have proposed a $600/month payment plan), but they sure are taking their time getting it setup. I should be grateful though, thus far, the IRS has been firm, yet fair to deal with.
Shrink this!
I had my first appointment with my counselor this week. It went well. It’s amazing how when I hear someone’s else’s view of what I think it can provide so much clarity as to what is really going on. Even with a reduced rate though, this isn’t going to be cheap. When I went last summer, my father paid for the sessions (he also pretty much forced me to go. Which was a good thing). This time I’m paying for it, and it totally changes how I approach the hour. I really want to get alot out of this, especially at $75 a pop. Even that is a reduced “you’re broke” sliding scale rate.
I think the extra $$$ it’s going to cost me each month will be worth it. I already felt much better about a few issues right off the bat. Friends and family are wonderful, but sometimes it’s very refreshing to have a professional to process with. It’s just not cheap!
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Debtkid – You are doing great and progressing. A large portion of money management is your attitude towards money, and you have grown tremendously in this area.
In regards to social situations, it is so easy to stigmatize yourself. For me, it is also easy to get this all out of perspective. I used to define myself by something one of my parents did when I was younger. EVERYONE I knew, in the neighborhood and everyone I went to school with through high school knew about it. It defined me. When I went off to college and into the work world, noone knew about this part of my life. Yet for me, it still defined who I was.
It took me a LONG time to realize that to other people, who did not know about the situation, the situation did NOT define me in their eyes. They defined me by their interactions with me, how I am as a friend, employee, acquaintance, neighbor, etc. It took me forever to realize that even if they later learn about the situation that happened when I was younger, they do not define me by that situation and my reaction to it. It just becomes a piece of background information about me, but their most powerful definition of me is what they have learned about me through their own interactions with me.
For me, the issue is still a HUGE part of who I am that I think about daily. But I have over the years learned that I cannot let it define who I am to myself, because it certainly does not define who I am to others.
I’m sharing this because I’d like to encourage you to try thinking about your definition of yourself a bit differently. The debt is a part of your history of yourself that you should never deny in your mind. It is even the topic of this blog. But enough of your personality comes through in this blog for me to be sure that it is NOT what defines you.
Your friends from high school and college who don’t know about the debt define you through what they know about their interactions with you, and that definition is totally legitimate. It should not make you uncomfortable around them, which I would guess is what is making it feel difficult and tiring.
Now as a practical matter, your plan for resolving the debt dictates that you don’t have alot of extra cash, so when these people make plans that cost money, you might feel like you don’t belong. That is a different issue. You don’t need to share with everyone why you are being frugal. You are young, growing a business, and have put yourself on a tight and disciplined personal budget in order to do the right thing with your business. If others don’t like that part of the definition of you, then they are probably not the right people to be hanging around with anyway.
We see ourselves so differently than others do. It is a lifelong exercise to attempt to see ourselves as others do, both to correct our faults we may not see that others do, and to put into perspective things about ourselves that others don’t worry about.
It is unclear if you have received the IRS assessment yet. This would come first and tells you exactly how much the actual taxes are as of a certain date and demands payment; if you don’t pay, it lowers the boom. Since you have agreed to a FTL, it might comment on that.
Debt Kid:
Can your business support a full-time staff member? What will this individual be doing this summer? Do you have a business plan and was this included as part of your business plan and have you achieved the target you established to support the full-time hire?
With that said, can you really afford the full-time hire? Are you providing benefits? Are you paying all the necessary employment taxes?
Just asking the questions to make sure you don’t crash and burn.
In the meantime – “smart giril” is starting a blog soon – I hope when I do you’ll allow me to announce it on your blog with a link. You really inspired me.
Great job with the therapist! That is such a positive step, you should be SO proud of yourself! With a professional on your side you’ll really make progress. Sometimes it helps to have some free time right after your appointment to reflect on what you talked about, maybe take some notes so suggestions don’t get lost.
I am one of those people who needs TONS of alone time but has a crazy social schedule. If I don’t get alone time I go nuts. I find it really helps to dedicate mornings to quiet. Even if we have people over I still stay in my room, have coffee alone and work quietly for a couple of hours. I’m super protective of my routine, it really helps keep me sane.