Routines

Life is full of patterns.

I start feeling anxious after about a week of not going for a run. I run for a few days, feel better than take a week off. I feel anxious again, so I run. Rinse and repeat.

I have a lot of trouble with some routines though. Particularly establishing healthy morning and evenings routines. As I write this at nearly 3am, I’m reinforcing my negative evening routine….working late on a computer with bright pixels that make it hard to fall asleep.

I’m not sure why mundane things are difficult for me. It’s been a problem for a few years now. I can come up with a great new business idea that adds a grand to my revenue each month, but for the life of me it takes me weeks to just think about doing my laundry. Or finish unpacking. Or organize things.

I’m just not good with dreary routines. Doing the dishes. Doing the laundry. Going to bed on time.

I’ve been working alot lately, and that is normal. But I’ve also found myself surprisingly bored the last few weeks. The truth is that right now…I have little drama. And little drama means little excitement. And that means little adrenaline.

I think I may be a bit of an adrenaline addict. It’s something that came up last week with my counselor. Learning to be ok with the slower parts of life…it’s difficult for me. I also want to be go, go, going. And slowing down is hard. I’m getting better at it, but I still have a ways to go.

And I’m still torn on weather I should slow down, or just go with how I feel….and that’s that I want to go, go, go. Maybe it’s just how I was born, why fight it?