Believe me, I do know where you are. It’s lonely.

The big myth about entrepreneurs is that they are single-handedly guiding the ship. Through storms and choppy waters, then heroically reaching the calm and sunny climates they alone dreamed of reaching.

I think you need to think of sharing the business burden with someone. If you can find a mentor or partner, then I think you will find the strength.

I used several after admitting defeat. And I have 2 partners in the business now apart from myself.

From being almost suicidal at times, I have found the strength to do what I’m good at, while others do what they are good at and I am awful at.

We have really turned the corner.

If you can find someone to really share the business burden with, then I think you may well unfold your wings and fly.

If you get chance, read about Ernesto Sirolli. Other influences who have echoed that are Richard Koch in his various books on the 80/20 principle applied in business.

While it may appear that the successful entrepreneurs do it all alone, when you dig a little deeper, you discover that they have a small team who complement and compensate for their weaknesses.

Sometimes even, the entrepreneur is someone invisible to the public. They have a front-person who gets the plaudits and praise and a lesser share in the success than the silent person in the background.

You have what it takes. But you may not have yet the missing pieces of your jigsaw.

In any case, by the end of the year I’ll either be doing well with my business (at least better than doing now), or I’ll be getting a normal job and just admitting defeat. I’ll BK the business and face the consequences. I do think I still have at least a 50/50 shot to pull out of this mess and really begin paying back my debts. As I commented before I have been paying back around $700 a month, and that’s just a low-ball estimate.

I like to write. It helps me stay on track. And if I sound like I’m begging for nice comments…I’m not. In fact, I’ve even thought of turning off comments…not because I don’t like the mean ones (there are very few)…but because I feel like the nice ones are too nice. I feel worse about myself than I ever have this year, and yet people here keep leaving nice comments. I know that sounds crazy but it frustrates me sometimes.

Do you get the feeling that the sentiment is turning?

I don’t know if you comment on other blogs, but there have been an awful lot of people that have done so on yours.

Reciprocity is a very important part of blogging.

Particularly those in financially challenging or dire business situations.

I suspect you do comment on other blogs – but that’s just a suspicion.

After following this blog for several months now and trying to contribute, like many others, I suspect I may feel like it’s a one-way street.

While many find you with a feeling of empathy, it does apear as though you are “comment baiting” at times.

Wanting people to say “there there now, everything will be fine”.

I realise your situation is difficult. Insurmountable in many respects.

But by constantly ignoring the real-world and seeking solace from transient individuals like me is a lonely place to remain in.

Your father sounds great. But you constantly seek advice on revealing anything about yourself in the real world from cyber-individuals.

You need to take a reality-check.

And while this may sound brutal and cruel to say, I really want you to consider letting those skeletons out of the closet.

You may even find the release does you some real good.

If you ever did read any of the comments I made, you will realise that I was seeking a kindred spirit too.

And while I was tackling a greater business debt, that didn’t matter to me as much as letting the people around me in the real world know – and I’m even talking about buisiness clients!

The fact that I also shared those experiences in the online world didn’t matter as much – the support was good, but not as “real” as people I had the guts to
reveal it to.

I hate sounding so negative, and you may even delete this post so you can continue your self-denial.

But at the end of the day, you really need to make a solid decision. You may feel as though you have made that decision, but I suspect you have chosen to wallow in your situation.

You may feel as though you are doing everything you can, and working countless hours to do so, but are you really focusing on the real issues?

Are you avoiding the ones that will get you through this?

You can do.

But please don’t treat your cyber-buddies as one-wayu traffic as you do.

And certainly don’t limit your actions to people like me – get out and tell people what’s happened. Don’t hide it.

As bad as it is, once you do let it go and let it out, things may weirdly start to improve.

Don’t chase the buck. Chase the sharing (in the real world).

Don’t retain pride for the sake of it. Share the burden.

A “shareholder” doesn’t just share the equity, they also share the risk and hassle.

And if you know anyone who can be your “ying” to your “yang” then ask them. Look up Ernesto Sirolli.

Complete your triangle of competencies.

And I sincerely hope you react angrily to this monologue.

And disagree. If you can manage to snap out of this ironcally “hard-working lethargy” you are stuck in, then all the better.

Both my wife and I slept on a little kid’s bed, before someone finally gave us a recycled mattress. That is the way we started out. And I still complain, but not about my matress.

I have been paying back an average of $700 a month since I started writing. To answer your question.