Money Hand Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/neubie/
Now don’t get me wrong, I need money just like anyone else.
In fact, I sadly need more money than most people my age (25 now BTW).
But, money really doesn’t motivate me. It doesn’t motivate me to work harder, or to be more frugal, or to save more.
I realized this the past two weeks. I was feeling pretty good about myself a few weeks ago. My business had its most profitable month ever, I was able to put away about $3,000, and I was feeling good. A little comfortable even.
And that’s what is dangerous for me. Motivation wise at least. I really don’t need much to meet my “basic needs”. Heck, as long as I’ve got some food, and a safe place to sleep, I’m a pretty happy camper.
What Does Motivate Me
Now, enter my debt. When it’s not 24/7 in my face, I sometimes lapse into thinking I’m doing pretty good income wise. I think, “hey, I paid my bills this month….do I really need to work late tonite? No one else I know is up at 2am each weeknight working on work stuff….why should I be?”
Why should I be?
Because I want to get frickin’ married someday.
Yep, as crazy as it sounds, I’m ten times more motivated by the fact that I know when I’m out of debt I’ll be ten times more confident in myself and my ability to be a in a solid relationship.
Jump? How High?
Now, don’t get me wrong, the IRS motivates me as well. Wells Fargo taking a $3.3K payment unexpectedly motivates me.
Just not as much as the thought of being debt free (so that I can date without this huge burden over my head).
Remember, I’m a 25-year old male. Single male. Single male who has been on 1 and 1/2 dates in the last 3 years. (1/2 date because the girl said, “this wasn’t really a date, right” when I dropped her off. ouch).
Money Does Motivate Sort Of
But anyway, back to money not motivating me. It’s not entirely true, because the thought of making 20K/month DOES motivate me….but not because I’d be making 20K/month, but because I’d be that much closer to a burden free date.
“It’s Not You, It’s Me”
I’ve had a number of comment that say, “A girl will like you regardless of your debt situation” or something along those lines. And I get that. I really do. It’s more about me, and how I feel about my situation. It causes me to be reserved and hold back. I don’t like it and I want it gone.
That’s why it’s 10:30pm and I still have a few more hours of work tonite…
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
So did you ever speak with the Legal department at W-F? Did you get a satisfactory answer? You really need to get your banking straightened out before the IRS swoops in, assuming you have completed Form 433. How’s it going with your unpaid state taxes? In my state, the revenue dept. is pretty quick on the draw, although I’ve never been on the receiving end of their efforts. Friends have and tell me it can get brutal.
Assuming your back taxes are 941 taxes, are your co-owners on the hook as well as you?
it’s refreshing to hear somebody my age (i’m 23) take accountability and responsibility for your actions. it seems like most people in our age group always find a way to blame other people for their problems… i respect the fact that you don’t want the burden of your debt to weigh heavily on your dating life. it’s not fun (having a non-existent love life) and it’s completely unfair to the person you want to get involved with to spring upon her the whole debt issue. you seem like a nice enough guy i’m sure it won’t be long til you settle down into a long-term relationship. lots of luck!
Hi,
I have been reading your blog occasionally, esp trying to deal with debt myself (and the way of thinking that got me into it) and it just occurred to me – have you constructed debt repayment plan? Do you have a wall chart?
Could you present it on your blog? And then reward yourself for certain repayments accomplished?
It would seem much more practical and would make you feel good.
Best wishes,
Divana
DK it’s good that money isn’t the sole thing motivating you to keep going. I’m driven by life and I work for money to have a life. Being 26 myself I understand your realization that it’s time to grow up and get this stuff handled. I’m already married myself but striving for debt freedom so we can have kids and raise a family, which is going to be a challenge anyway. Your debt though isn’t going to hold you back from finding that special someone. Many people meet their significant other doing common things like going to a bookstore/library or at the daily coffee stop. I know you’re focused on working but take some time for yourself to be on the field instead of sitting on the bench dreaming.
That makes sense. The right person will like you regardless of your issues but YOU will feel better when this is all over. That feeling of freedom at the finish line is going to be so amazing!
Back in the days you were day trading, what was motivating you? What motivated you to start? To continue?
Debt free before marriage is a fine goal, but I bet that your dating life will take off as soon as you have brough your debt current and are able to make regularly scheduled payments, which will happen much sooner than being completely out of debt.
Dk, that is great that money isn’t a huge motivator for you. However cashflow and making sure you have enough to cover expenses, invest, and have an emergency fund are important, to the point where earning more money can be a motivator in a positive sense.
Just throwing this out there, have you thought about utilizing http://www.ezinearticles.com as a marketing tool for both your business and this site? It may be a nice traffic boost!
Keep working hard- I think it is great that you continue to work long hours. Those will pay off in the long run and the self discipline will help you out big time down the road as well. Just don’t burn yourself out- try to make sure you have balance in your life.
OK, I get it. You may be into Zen or something next. You really do have a fine character, but a businessman who is not motivated by money? There is something wrong with that.
And I do see you as more of a thrill seeker. I think the whole debt crisis — certainly of your own making — is part of that.
You really have to be honest with yourself. You can say whatever you want to us. I actually do think that you have many fine character traits. I just wish that your financial life would match the rest of your life.
Yes, I don’t understand being a business person and not being motivated by money. Obviously, it motivated you when you were day trading – at least, something had to. I found that when people say they aren’t motivated by money they have negative belief systems about money.
I get lots of praise and kudos for my writing, and you would not believe how many people contact me wanting me to write for them – for free! Ha, ha. This is my business, and I don’t intend to just give it away unless I am making some other payback on it that repays me for the time lost. All I have to say is:”How much does it pay?” Then, they disappear without another word. Money talks, otherwise, they’re just wasting my time. There are plenty of people with integrity who will pay for my writing, I don’t need to waste my time on people who are daydreaming they are business people and don’t understand the value of money.
You can be broke as fuck and find happiness in just about anything that your brain is capable of finding happiness in.
There are plenty of poor, wealthy, extremely wealthy, extremely poor and middle class individuals who go on dates, marry, have kids, etc.
This idea of having to obtain certain sums of money in order to produce the flawless American family is widespread. And completely and utterly a heap of bullshit.
A person who is in debt and obtainin money *doesn’t* automatically worship the dollar, being in debt and whether or not you have a hard-on for rectangular paper, euros or saltbars are two completely separate entities.
The only way to accomplish a harmony with your not having accumulated money is to simply do the following:
A) Not give a shit.
B) Not give a shit.
C) Both A & B.
You don’t need to drown your sorrows in booze and pot, or commit suicide because of what a digital data storage in a banking entity says about you. What I’ve found though, is that people who work their way out of debt tend to be the same miserable motherfucker they were had they been miserable motherfuckers before they got out of debt. It wouldn’t make a difference whether or not these individuals got themselves right back into debt; in fact, I would suggest it, simply because they’d be able to point the finger at the woes of some inescapable financial cage.
There is only a slim psychological margin between the hobo who is horribly upset at not having more money and the millionaire who is horribly upset at not having more money; if, in fact, this is the cause for the akin stress that burdens the two similar individuals 99% of their day, smoking crack or snorting coke.
Your perception of the world makes up the finer things in life. People can call you crazy, lazy … or both, and this will have absolutely, positively no bearings, whatsoever, on whether or not the world is destroyed in an atomic apocalypse OR how your gray matter obsesses about wealth, or shiny objects: As the two are exactly related.
Work is healthy, to some degree, as it takes one’s mind off of wordly stress: The thing is, the completely work-crazed human dies after their life has passed them by entirely, when your low, medium or high income salary removes you from debt, do you automatically sever any and all relations to that moneymaking entity as debt was truly your only vice? Do you make 1,000,000 dollars and retire immediately to an exactly refined 100k-a-year lifestyle and plan on dying when a decade has passed?
Live life.
Well I dont know? It has never motivated me to wake up early and go to work, or stay till late at work. Shortage of money in effect has created a scenario in which i think the world is based on a whole damn lie. Money is like religion a really fanatical religion. You cant eat if you don’t believe in money. All societies doors get closed if you don’t have money. That started a whole chain of thought in me. Maybe we are not free. When we talk and were told as kids that we live in a free society. Yes we live in a society where you can go and buy anything you like. and thats it. thats how far our freedom goes.