A year ago I would have been up for another 3-4 hours praying that some European official would say something positive (or negative depending on my position) about the Euro. I might have $10,000 on the line that could double or vanish based on the comments…
Flash forward to this evening:
I walked to fred meyer and spent 10 minutes deciding between the 6 pack or 9 pack of ankle socks that were on sale. (I went with the nine pack. Back when I was living in my office, I got rid of a bunch of my older socks and left myself with only 14 pairs. It hasn’t been enough.)
So, I’m learning to redo everything. I feel like a college freshman that just got dropped off by his parents into “the real world”. Relearning how to shop, how to stay organized, how to save, how to spend, how to talk (to women), how to worship. Everything seems new right now, and to be honest…it’s all incredibly scary.
If someone were to take a snapshot of my life, they’d probably think everything was fine. I have an apartment, a car, I work from home and have a few employees. Impressive actually for a 24 year old, right? Hah!
The funny thing is is it’s not the collection agencies that scare me. Oh no, I can deal with them just fine. What scares me is everything else. Life. Love. The absence of love. Grocery shopping. Heating bills. It’s all freaking me out lately.
Here’s the deal. Within the next month I will:
A.) have finished my personal bankruptcy filing
B.) start seeing revenue from my Plan A project. This could be anywhere from $1500-$20,000 a month. Really, I know we will hit the low end ($1500), but the high end depends on some meetings later this month. It could go either way.
C.) have not have gone on a date in nearly 2 years.
Looking at those three items, can you guess which one takes up a large amount of my brain cycles each day?
Yep. C. Strange, isn’t it? Maybe it’s just that all my friends are married now or on their way. And it’s not that I don’t think about the other items. I mean really, item B takes up most of my work life 10 hours a day.
The thing is…I’m quite happy single, and in no way am I anywhere near the ability to have a serious relationship. But come on, 2 years without a date.
It’s mostly my fault though. This year has been all about me facing everything. And the last year was all about my secret additions. So…not much time or desire for meeting new people and real intimate relationships (scary!).
December Goals: 1 date, $20,000+ in business revenue (we should do about 7K this month)
Side note: I love fall.
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I just wanted to say that I think you’re doing fine. When I was your age (that makes me sound so old!) I spent far too much time thinking about guys, and of course now I wish that I had spent the time on something else – specifically, on becoming a better person. Don’t get me wrong, I am quite happy with my life and who I am, but I think I could have reached that point a lot sooner if I’d focused on things that were more within my control and trusted that love and romance would eventually work itself out. Which it did, but only when I had given up and decided to just have fun and be my best self. Go figure.
I don’t think it’s any surprise to find that a straight 24-year-old male is mostly thinking about women, any more than finding that an 84-year-old is mostly thinking about his next bowel movement.
The world is not over because you’re 24 and single. If I put on my old-geezer hat, I can tell you at 24 I was engaged, happy and in grad school to get my PhD in molecular virology. A year later the engagement was off, I flunked out of grad school and had moved 1000 miles away to take a different job in a town I knew 3 people.
I was single for a long time, and only dated one or two people for the next few years. If you’re happy, you’re happy. I also think it’s really good for people to BE happy living by themselves before they try and be happy living with someone else.
You’re doing fine. It’s scary and stuff, but you’re doing fine.
you need more than a date.. you need some time with the ladies. it shouldn’t have anything to do with your debt. if anything, it could be quite an escape.