Me, my boyfriend, the dog, my family and my 30K debt. This is the story of Maeghen.

My name is Maeghen, I am 27 and I live in CO. In the past few years I have amassed around 30k in debt. Due to a life changing family trauma and my need to feel the void that was left by it I became addicted to shopping. I am so grateful to DebtKid for giving me the chance to share my story.

In the beginning

This story begins when I was 20. I was working and going to school fulltime. I had been dating my wonderful boyfriend for 3 years (we are still together and it will be 10 years in September). I was living with my parents still to save money to pay for school. I couldn’t have asked for a better life.

But everything drastically changed on August 8th. We were informed at the hospital that my Mom had a stroke. She had just turned 50 the month before. Before the stroke my Mom ran her own accounting business and could do anything she put her mind to. The beginning of her recovery was in the hospital for about 2 months they then moved her home and we started taking care of her. She slowly regained her speech and motor skills. But she is still severely weakened on her right side and continues to still have health issues that stem from the stroke.

Due to the stress on my Dad he ended up getting shingles on his face around Thanksgiving that same year. At that point I was still working and going to school fulltime but I was also a fulltime caregiver to both my parents. Their health is still a major concern for me even today.

Putting my life on hold

While all this was going on I put my entire life on hold. I didn’t get to be 21 and go party with my friends. I had take care of my parents, still work and go to school (which I was failing almost all of my classes by this point). I never let anyone know what was going on with me or how I was feeling. This is one of the biggest mistakes I made. I lied to everyone and put on a great front that I was 100% in control of everything and I could handle anything that came my way.

When I was 23 I physically and mentally was falling apart. I was getting stomach pains, I was tired all the time, had acid reflux, and severe headaches. I also began suffering from depression and nightmares. I went to the doctor and found out that because of the stress I had given my self a stomach ulcer. I didn’t tell anyone about this for quite sometime because I didn’t want to worry anyone. I tried to find a therapist but didn’t ever really click with any of them. So I just kept on with what I was doing.

Spending sprees and plastic cards

Then one day in the mail I got a pre-approved credit card from Capital One with a $5000 dollar limit. And then a Chase card came next with a $2000 limit. More cards started to follow. I even started getting store cards too.

I decided to go on a spree and get my self a DVD player and some other things. I spent around $200 that trip which could have easily been paid off no problem. When I got home that night I spread out all of my purchases from that day on the floor and I had a feeling wash over me that I hadn’t felt in years. It was joy and calm. I went out the next day and spent $500 and felt the joy and calm again. This became an ongoing thing for the next few years. My friends loved shopping with me because I would spend so much. I would buy other people gifts as well and seeing how happy they would get would make me happy too. The bills then started showing up and the money began to run out fast.

Lets move to the present. I currently work 2 jobs. I work for Blockbuster and for an insurance agent as her licensed assistant. I am seeing a therapist to work on the depression, anxiety, day to day stuff and the shopping addiction. Like I said earlier I am still dating my boyfriend and he is amazing. He knows what’s going on with the debt and has been extremely supportive. We have discussed getting married a few times but I feel like I need to get my life and finances in order before we take that step.

Met with a bankruptcy attorney

I have a 5 year old Chihuahua (I can hear people groaning as they are reading this). I have to say I never expected to love this little dog so much but I do and I can’t imagine my life without him. I still help out my parents when they need me but I have learned to say no sometimes too. They are also aware of my debt and helped me a little bit with it. I have tried working with my creditors some are helpful while others I just end up hanging up on because they get so rude. I had a meeting last week with a bankruptcy attorney to just check out some of my options. I will fill you in on what is happening as that unfolds.

The buck stops here

I look at my life and I fully accept that I made this debt and no one else can be blamed except for me. I hurt the people that love and care about me the most and I also hurt myself. My debt is never far from my thoughts. And it’s something I deal with in someway everyday. I am hoping that by blogging about my debt I may help someone to realize that they are not alone and I hope that this experience will help to heal me too.