Every so often (and increasing more often) I get e-mails from people. Sometimes they are losing their home, sometimes they just want to say thanks to me for sharing. I wanted to share this one, because I’m apparently not the only stupid kid out there….and the reader gives some good advice….
Reader E-mail
Dear debtkid,
Fellow nerd, idiot trader, and ‘business owner’, just read through your archives for about :30 and I find it very eerie how similar your story is to my own.
I too have problems opening up to other people, sharing my mistakes, admitting what I’ve done, so I thought I’d write you as a way to break that shell a bit, and maybe give you a little solace so you don’t feel alone in your mistakes.
I started a business (IT consulting, software development) and took on investment from some friends. That made me not want to close the business when I lost money the first 2 years. I felt I owed something to them. Desperate for return on investment, I turned to day trading….ruinous. I fell in to depression of sorts. My employees then proceeded to ransack the rest of the company…they stole my A/R and sold off company equipment. I’m letting my house go into foreclosure in the next few months (doesn’t make sense to setup a short sale, my credit’s trashed
anyway), and I’ve filed for ch. 7.
Of course, I might end up having to pay some debts back anyway. It’s going to be years of work. But you’re right, the only path is steady gains. I’m 21. I owned 4 xB’s in my business. I too have problems talking to girls.
Reading over your current challenges, I have a few thoughts:
- If you haven’t already, you have to get over the girl thing. I think one of the reasons I took so many wild risks was to be ’successful’ so that I’d have some kind of credibility with women, so I wouldn’t have to feel inadequate. I realize now that I always had credibility, I just lacked confidence. I’m doing a lot better in this area. I’d be glad to listen if you want to talk.
- Do you still have employees? I’d caution you about working from home and leaving employees to manage themselves. Bad things happen…
- Obviously I know nothing of your business, but if it’s losing money (still?) it might be time to consider some hard cost cutting (employees, selling assets, buying used equipment, etc). I let my business lose money for a long time because I kept telling myself that the projects I was working on would soon make it profitable. Possibly you should liquidate and pay off the IRS and anything else thats not dischargable? Then close the business and add all business debts you’re personally liable for to your personal bankruptcy (only costs $26 to make an addition). If you don’t do it now, it’ll be 6yrs before you can. You can always take your ideas and startup another business to pay your living exp, your mom and your student loans, right? Or get a job? I have to tell you, closing my business has (overall) left me feeling much better. I was completely burned out and very sick. Now I’m just going to do a regular job for a year or so, might pursue some business ideas after that. Positive side, it’s a lot easier to date when you just work a regular 9-5, and you can still write and freelance.
- Sounds like you need to get out there and sell your projects/services. Consider eliminating/scaling back on any businesses that are distractions from your real growth opportunities. It might be tough to do this while you’re still saddled with worries about these business credit cards and such. My plan was to save my business with some online applications. I failed to meet my agressive sales goals because I spent too much time worrying about and dealing with debts and the problems my employees left me with.
I hope you’ll write back, we seem to have quite a lot in common. I learned a few good lessons from reading your posts: I’m going to make an effort, however embarrassing it might be, to talk about my personal failings with my dad. I’m also going to try to make more friends (I basically worked non-stop for 2 yrs, living at my office for about 6mos, and now only have 1 friend, who usually doesn’t call me back).
Anyway,
Best of luck
Reader
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s always nice to know you’re not alone. I hope you do write him back, I bet it would feel really good to talk to someone who has been there!
DK, with the economy not so hot recently, unfortunately more and more people will come into unfavorable situations such as losing jobs, unable to pay the mortage…
on a brigther note, enjoy your weekend.
Amazing how people can live almost parallel lives and not even be aware of it! Or that other people are going through similar things. I think it is great you are earning money from this blog. The more the better! Maybe you should consider putting it to work through your business as another asset. I am not sure if it relates or not though.
Don’t worry so much about the economy and if you can continue to make money. If you provide a product or service that is unbeatable and that people value and want, you will do fine. And I think you do do that through your business and through this blog. Keep up the good work and enjoy your weekend! I heard that it is raining like crazy up in Seattle…
I am a 60 year old piano teacher who just moved with my 84 year old mother to a new house with 2 bedrooms and 2 baths for her privacy. We moved to a nice community to be near my brother who could help her during the day (he is retired) and I could help when I got home. It was and is a great plan for our family.
My problem started when I could not sell my old house fast enough. I ended up with 2 mortgages, 2 insurances, 2 taxes, 2 utilities, etc. for about the last 5 months. My credit was 729 last year and was good enough to get the $189.000 mortage at 6% in September of 2008.
Due to my nice conversation with a very sweet lady, they closed both cards without telling me. If I had not called them to see what options I had, I would still have my credit with them. I never authorized any closure…I accidentally discovered they were closed on the telephone teller. I was in shock for 2 days!!
Now they are closed and I am so under that I cannot see bottom….I just want to warn people about the "Hardship Departments"……THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!!!!
Just saying…..
thanks for letting me vent….Godspeed
Oops….
I accidentally cut out the part about my call to the Hardship Dept. at FIA Card Services….that was the conversation I had with the nice lady to check on my options with their credit card company which they used to justify closing my 2 cards with them….maybe now my blog will make a little more sense!!
Sorry about that……
ps. Bottom line…the call to the Hardship Dept. was a red flag for FIA to close my accounts without telling me….FYI