Or at least something to speed up time.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just waiting….waiting for tomorrow. Waiting for next week. Always working, yet always waiting.
Today was not the best day. A potential partner fell through on my Plan A project. It’s not a huge deal, it was just disappointing. I think the problem is that I take any failure (even a small one) or setback and make it into a huge thing in my mind. I think I fail to look at the big picture sometimes and I get frusterated when things are crappy right now in the present.
Sometimes I just want to get absolutely plastered and forget everything, you know? And yet I don’t. I probably should….but I don’t. Never been much of a drinker…too many alcoholics in my family tree. But seriously…I really thought about it today. I know I won’t….but it was ever so slightly tempting. (bear in mind…me having 2 drinks would equal the most I’ve ever drank in my life. Yes. I know. I was sheltered)
I actually have a good chunk of money in the bank right now for the business. But, it’s all budgeted out for later expenses this month….and yet it sits there….almost mocking me. Mocking me while I have to finish my bankruptcy paperwork tomorrow.
I’m bored. I’m bored with my life. I’m bored with writing for seemingly no purpose. I’m bored with the TV shows I watch just to get by in the evenings. And now I’m rambling. It’s time for bed.
I know I have a lot of really wonderful people who seem to read my ramblings here and give me encouragement….but sometimes I think I just need a good kick in the arse.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
this I can relate too…
Stuck in a rut…
Sometimes, a tiny adjustment can do wonders to alter your mood…
At work here, they bought a laptop that I can take to meetings… It’s only $1000 laptop (for my company that’s pocket change) but it allowed me to get work done during meetings that I couldn’t do before…
I’m not sure if that helps… but I think you’ll feel better once the personal bankruptcy goes through.
As for a little change…. maybe a part time job at night? deliverign pizza, or bartending, or waiting tables… anything to get you out meeting people. with your business and ability to set your own schedule, you could peobably get something mid day (which is what most place need right now)… this will get you out there meeting people, maybe help out your social life.
I can totally relate. You’re a few years younger than me and I am probably more restless then you right now. Enjoy yourself some man. You’ve worked your arse off, why kick it? Don’t drink when you’re down and out.Believe me, it will make things worse for you right now. It’s good that you’re filing bk and starting over. There are many ways to rebuild you’re credit in a few months time. Hang in there buddy. I have alot of respect for you and the will power you have. Good luck.