This was a guest post I had written for a finance blog that never got picked up.
For most of my short adult life, I was obsessed with financial success. I wanted the big house, the nice car, the fat bank account. Everything. In 2006 I had all that…and the $300,000+ in debt from day trading my way to that “success” I desired so much.
It wasn’t until I started taking accountability for what I had done to get into debt, and changing the habits that I could, that I finally started separating my self-worth from my financial situation.
Debt – The Silent Burden
Debt tends to be a silent burden for many of us. It’s not always the easiest issue to share or talk about, sometimes even with our family. And I think that is OK. You don’t need to broadcast to all your friends how much debt you have. What you do need to do is not let your debt control your self-talk and your self-worth.
First Step: Control What You Can
Your first step to feeling better about your debt is controlling what you can. Can you negotiate a better interest rate on some of your credit cards? Do it. Can you create a budget and stick to it? Do it. Can you take a 2nd job? Do it.
Once you’ve begun to control the factors you can, you need to start changing how you interact and think of your debt.
Change Your Thinking
1. Telling yourself each day that you are not defined by your debt – Literally say this to yourself in the mirror each morning. I’m not joking. It helps.
2. Begin thinking of your debt as reverse savings goals -For example, “I’m going to save $200 this month” (by paying down my credit card).
3. Tell A Friend – You need to have at least one person who you can share your debt reduction journey with. You don’t need to tell the whole world, but you need at least one person outside your family. I can’t stress this enough. It may be difficult sharing this at first, but a true friend will understand, recognize the efforts you’ve been making, and love you even if you really screwed up.
I’m able to function so much better today, even with a mountain of debt, because I am controlling what I can in terms of my debt.
Got Tips?
Do you have any tips that have helped you deal with your debt?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
The ‘reverse’ saving is a good way to look at it.
I also make little rewards for each goal I make, even if it is buying something small (under $20) – I need a carrot on a stick sometimes!
I like the idea of rewards!
I applied for a business savings account at ING yesterday. Once it gets approved (if it does), I’m going to start socking away as much as I can into this account. From there I’ll start knocking down more of the debts I have.
I’ve done a lot of reduce my expenses (both business and personal). I still have a few more small changes (eat out less, cook more, etc), but overall on that end I’m doing OK.
So, that leaves getting more income. This month has been good business wise, but I need great!