I had an interesting situation come up this past week where an acquaintance from my church wants to meet up with me and discuss the non-profit work they are doing. The party disclosed right up front that they are in fund raising mode (which I appreciated).
My wheels are turning. And while I would love to support this person, any excess funds of my own right now are going towards savings to pay down debt. I could definitely give a little, but I don’t see it as prudent given what I owe my mother still (120K ish now) for example.
The person asking sees me as a successful business person (and has no clue about my debts, etc).
What would you do? How would you respond to this request? How do I say “no” or “maybe later” without saying I’m in debt?
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Great question! I wrestle with this too as I’m a bit too much of a “giver.” I’m overextended into too many charity projects and not wanting to cut any of them (so working more to make up for it). My suggestion to you would be to say something like “I have some other committments and can’t re-allocate my “giving” budget until (insert date). In the meantime, could I help you in some other way, either by supporting your cause, promoting it, volunteering or in-kind donation of a good or service that I can provide? Please let me know if there is something that I can do in the meantime to help you out.” (If you don’t think that this initiative of your friend’s is worth your time/goods/services, why would it be worth your money? If that’s the case, just say no–there’s no harm in it, and fundraisers are used to it–I know, I’ve done LOTS of fundraising!) Good luck!
Even if you would like to contribute the bottom line is you can’t just contribute every time someone asks for a donation. You have your own finances to worry about and I think simply saying that now is not the best time for you to contribute money should be enough for them to understand.
You can make a small donation and leave it as that. No need to tell anyone your business, except for this Blog!
I’ve always had a problem supporting people; once you give someone a lot of help, they become dependent on you and you get emotionally attached. In the long run, you know you have to stop giving them money or you’re going to be poor forever, it’s just very hard to do because there is a very real sense that they need you.
There are some very poor people out there right now, but it’s a world of difference once you personally know one.
I use the, “this is not a good time for me to donate” line, although when I am close with that person, I am fairly straightforward about my financial situation. It solves a lot of problems later.
What the heck is wrong with telling them you are in debt from mistakes you made when you are younger? I would rather someone tell me that then feel like you were just brushing me off and don’t want to help. If you say its not a good time etc etc… then they think that is just a no.
I would explain that while you can’t donate money you could donate some of your time. Maybe they need someone to reorganize all of their contacts, the finances, etc. There are probably plenty of things your can do to support the cause if you believe in it that don’t involve you sacrificing your own financial health.
As you said just give a little
I say that I’ve already allocated my charity budget.