I made a strategic decision around 2 years ago to not share my “get out of debt” journey with anyone in my real life.
In other words, if you’re reading this blog, you probably know more about my life than the group of friends I see on a regular basis.
I’m a private person. I don’t feel my business is anyone else’s business unless I’ve known them for a long time. I prefer to listen, rather than talk.
Being a listener has a lot of advantages. No one gossips about a listener because, well, they don’t say much to gossip about. I pride myself on being a good listener, and question asker….and so people talk to me. I don’t know if it’s my slightly crooked nose that makes me look so approachable, but for some reason I’m a “safe person” people like to talk too.
But back to my story…
I choose a few years ago to keep my story and my mistakes under wraps for the time being. For the most part it’s worked out well. It’s allowed me to focus on fixing things without having people call me all the time to see how I’m doing.
With the exception of my immediate family (mom, dad, brothers) and my girlfriend, no one else in my life knows about my mistakes, and the debt I accrued. Oh wait, and my full time employee, I told him this summer.
So, now as things are going really well for me…here’s the thing…I can’t share that without explaining the backstory. And since I don’t want to explain the backstory, I don’t want to talk about my life, pretty much ever.
Which is fine most of the time. As I said, I’m not a talker. I have my girlfriend, and I have my blog, and my family, and that’s been enough.
But at times when someone asks me at a party, “what’s new?” I want to scream, “Dude, I’m on track to being completely debt free by 2010!”
Instead, I say, “Not much, you know, the usual. Work, church, girlfriend, life is good…yada yada”
Now, I know people are going to comment and say, “Just tell people!”
Remember, I’ve told all the people truly close to me. I have two close friends that live outside the state, and had they been local, I would have told them as well. And I will tell them eventually, probably next year.
So, back to the title, being in debt is lonely. Especially considering the path I choose to keep my debt from being a part of my “normal life” as much as possible.
Not only is being in debt lonely…getting out of debt can be lonely as well.
So, thank you for listening, like I said above, you all know me better than most!
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow! Totally debt-free by 2010? Do you know what month? We think we’ll be there in July 2010. I can’t wait. It feels good and we’re starting to feel the momentum for sure.
I hear you that it’s lonley. You want to scream it from the rooftops, but at the same time, you are kinda weird in the wanting to be debt-free department.
Hang in there, you can do it! You’ve got a team of supporters reading along with you.
I can totally see where you’re coming from. I recall quite a few times where someone doesn’t know the start of a story and then inquires about something related to it later. But I tend to have no desire to retell a story that could take an hour so just reply like you do with the “you know, the usual” response.
That you’ve been able to climb out of such a big hole and be totally debt free by 2010 is extremely impressive.
I completely agree. I’m 4 weeks from my due date with our third baby, and my husband is working two jobs and 60+ hours to get us out of debt. Most of our friends probably think we’re nuts and/or reclusive, but we honestly don’t have a ton of time to hang out with people right now. Not sure most people would do what we’re doing. It’s hard and sometimes we honestly hate it. But we’ve paid off 8 creditors so far in four months. There’s never a GOOD time to do this, but I think we may have picked a time that’s even more nuts than some. Anyway, we relate…
Being lonely getting out of debt is good. Makes u not stray by the temptations of others.
Make sure u don’t go back to ur old ways once u do get out of debt.
I hope to God that you are debt free by 2010! Are you sure you are being honest? It doesn’t sound like it, when you hide things from your friends. What do they teach you at church? Very sad and pathetic. But then again, that is why you drive around in a new car, isn’t it — to fool people?
If by new car you mean a 4-year old entry level compact car with 70,000 miles..then yes.
See — you don’t know how lucky you are. You bought it new, and it is only four years old, and fairly low miles. I do understand it was a decision between a rock and a hard place to keep the car, since you were “upside down” in it. So my apologies.
I don’t own a car, but you think that it is too much to give up a car. I know that a car is a huge waste of money — payment, gas, insurance, repairs. It is the number one offender on the monthly budget — so good luck getting out of debt.
I don’t want to put you down or anything — but you would be better off without a car, especially financially.
Behind many disorders like compusive gambling and debt is dishonesty.
I agree. There’s something about these past few blog entries that don’t add up. I understand the need for privacy, but DK does have a history with “looking the part” while something totally different goes on behind the scenes.
Btw…a 4-year-old car is still pretty new. DK, it’s comments like these that make it appear that you haven’t completely gotten it yet.
Sara Kay – Congrats on the new baby on the way and the best to you in the delivery room. Just one thought we wanted to add to yours. Think of all the possibilities of what the two of you can do with all that extra discretionary money you will have once you’ve paid off your debts. By choosing a lower standard of living to pay off your debts, this HABIT will continue beyond your payoff date and will allow you to build a bright future for you and yours.
I just love this bleeping site! Lonely indeed tis debt. Left my gf, left closest friends 500 miles away and moved back “home” to right the wrongs of more school than I and family could afford (despite being one of the best values in US). The labels of “obsessed” and “ungrateful” have been hurled at me for my intense and unwavering one-track mind of reconstructive get your-ish together personal financial surgery. But ahh! the next woman and new group of friends will reap the dividends of a better man, friend, and citizen!