Comments on: finding the good in myself http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself Debt Kid - I'm Getting Out of Debt Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:13:13 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Norak http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself/comment-page-1#comment-8508 Norak Sun, 06 Apr 2008 15:14:41 +0000 http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself#comment-8508 I think what you are feeling is natural because I believe that humans have evolved a hording instinct. We horde resources to save for the winter and if we have few resources, the body producing depression urges you to do so for our own survival. I think what is necessary for you is to try to make a distinction between your instincts and your reality. We don't live in caveman days anymore, yet how you perceive yourself and how others may perceive you may be based on perception colored by instinct. I think what you are feeling is natural because I believe that humans have evolved a hording instinct. We horde resources to save for the winter and if we have few resources, the body producing depression urges you to do so for our own survival.

I think what is necessary for you is to try to make a distinction between your instincts and your reality. We don’t live in caveman days anymore, yet how you perceive yourself and how others may perceive you may be based on perception colored by instinct.

]]> By: 6 Month Update - I’m Still Here http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself/comment-page-1#comment-6582 6 Month Update - I’m Still Here Tue, 29 Jan 2008 06:38:41 +0000 http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself#comment-6582 [...] first post: I didn’t realize how much emotion plays into debt. It really creeps into almost every part of your daily life when you don’t have it under [...] [...] first post: I didn’t realize how much emotion plays into debt. It really creeps into almost every part of your daily life when you don’t have it under [...]

]]> By: Alexis http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself/comment-page-1#comment-1055 Alexis Tue, 10 Jul 2007 13:25:24 +0000 http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself#comment-1055 stop worrying about women! for crying out loud - we're not as shallow as you seem to think, I personally don't care if a guy has money in the bank. I DO care that he has his sh*t together though and has room in his life for me. You do not have room in your life for anyone now. Put it out of your head. It's not the right time. stop worrying about women! for crying out loud – we’re not as shallow as you seem to think, I personally don’t care if a guy has money in the bank. I DO care that he has his sh*t together though and has room in his life for me.

You do not have room in your life for anyone now. Put it out of your head. It’s not the right time.

]]> By: allthingznew http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself/comment-page-1#comment-1033 allthingznew Mon, 09 Jul 2007 07:15:13 +0000 http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself#comment-1033 Keep your chin up. You will have some cash to spend on dating soon enough. Keep making progress. You don't have to worry about telling your financial situation to everyone you date. When you do actually meet her, a woman should love/respect you for who you are, not what you make. Besides, and smart woman will realize that once you've paid off all your debt, you will not stop there cuz you have skillz and you will go from being Debt Kid to Rich Man, it's only a matter of time. Best Wishes Keep your chin up. You will have some cash to spend on dating soon enough. Keep making progress. You don’t have to worry about telling your financial situation to everyone you date.

When you do actually meet her, a woman should love/respect you for who you are, not what you make. Besides, and smart woman will realize that once you’ve paid off all your debt, you will not stop there cuz you have skillz and you will go from being Debt Kid to Rich Man, it’s only a matter of time.

Best Wishes

]]> By: FJP http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself/comment-page-1#comment-1027 FJP Sun, 08 Jul 2007 17:37:38 +0000 http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself#comment-1027 Hi debtkid, I've been following your story and I first wanted to say congratulations for being so open and honest on this blog about your struggles, and for the clear thinking that you have exhibited so far in your efforts to move forward. To add another voice of female experience, I, too, have not focused on the financial situation of the men I've dated. If she really is that smart and caring, hopefully she would be smart enough to see that your debt does not define you as a person, and caring enough to support you in your continued goal if you guys did end up dating. Having said that, I think this issue is deeper than this one girl. You are basically talking about feeling like you are abnormal while everyone around you is normal and going about their lives. The truth is, almost everyone, at some time in their life, feels like they are the 'freak' while everyone around them is thriving, whether it's because of money, relationship status, educational status, etc. etc. Just remember that this too shall pass and others are experiencing the same thing. Do you think you would feel better if you at least mentioned, in a vague way, some of your problems, even if you didn't spell out the whole issue, to some of the people around you whom you haven't told the full story to? Just something to think about. Hi debtkid,

I’ve been following your story and I first wanted to say congratulations for being so open and honest on this blog about your struggles, and for the clear thinking that you have exhibited so far in your efforts to move forward.
To add another voice of female experience, I, too, have not focused on the financial situation of the men I’ve dated.

If she really is that smart and caring, hopefully she would be smart enough to see that your debt does not define you as a person, and caring enough to support you in your continued goal if you guys did end up dating.

Having said that, I think this issue is deeper than this one girl. You are basically talking about feeling like you are abnormal while everyone around you is normal and going about their lives. The truth is, almost everyone, at some time in their life, feels like they are the ‘freak’ while everyone around them is thriving, whether it’s because of money, relationship status, educational status, etc. etc. Just remember that this too shall pass and others are experiencing the same thing.

Do you think you would feel better if you at least mentioned, in a vague way, some of your problems, even if you didn’t spell out the whole issue, to some of the
people around you whom you haven’t told the full story to? Just something to think about.

]]> By: PMSPMS http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself/comment-page-1#comment-1026 PMSPMS Sun, 08 Jul 2007 14:15:40 +0000 http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself#comment-1026 My old doctor (who was at my birth) told me when I was about your age... "don't worry about the women - worry about your work, career and finances and the women will come along". Turns out he was right - I'm 42 and have just re-married the woman I should have married had I been paying attention. My old doctor (who was at my birth) told me when I was about your age… “don’t worry about the women – worry about your work, career and finances and the women will come along”. Turns out he was right – I’m 42 and have just re-married the woman I should have married had I been paying attention.

]]> By: Kerry http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself/comment-page-1#comment-1017 Kerry Sat, 07 Jul 2007 17:05:29 +0000 http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself#comment-1017 Debt Kid, I think it's the other way around--the self esteem issues lead to the lying, and poor choice in relationships (your crappy ex-roommates for example), and the trading and the debt. That's my take on it anyway. Ian Denny's got a good point. When you're honest with and about yourself, even though it's hard, it makes things easier to sort out in the long run. You've made some big strides in being a more authentic person, and you should continue to work on that. Debt Kid, I think it’s the other way around–the self esteem issues lead to the lying, and poor choice in relationships (your crappy ex-roommates for example), and the trading and the debt. That’s my take on it anyway. Ian Denny’s got a good point. When you’re honest with and about yourself, even though it’s hard, it makes things easier to sort out in the long run. You’ve made some big strides in being a more authentic person, and you should continue to work on that.

]]> By: Noma http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself/comment-page-1#comment-1016 Noma Sat, 07 Jul 2007 15:42:07 +0000 http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself#comment-1016 Well, you've certainly gotten some interesting feedback. I was in the dumps about the steep journey of debt reduction. Try to remember, you are not your debt. Your debt will change and melt away -- not in a magical, The Secret, kind of way, just because that's the way it goes. If a woman you're interested gives a hoot about your debt she's obviously not worth the trouble. If it's a sex thing, then why would it even come up?? Well, you’ve certainly gotten some interesting feedback. I was in the dumps about the steep journey of debt reduction. Try to remember, you are not your debt. Your debt will change and melt away — not in a magical, The Secret, kind of way, just because that’s the way it goes.

If a woman you’re interested gives a hoot about your debt she’s obviously not worth the trouble. If it’s a sex thing, then why would it even come up??

]]> By: jaye http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself/comment-page-1#comment-1015 jaye Sat, 07 Jul 2007 11:39:04 +0000 http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself#comment-1015 One quick point, from a woman's perspective: I never checked anyone's financials before dating them. Thank God, too, because I never would have married my husband if that had been my motivation. In fact, men who talk about their financial success are obnoxious. Don't get so down. You're doing the right thing, moving in the right direction. I know it sounds trite but honesty is much more enchanting than money. Good luck. One quick point, from a woman’s perspective: I never checked anyone’s financials before dating them. Thank God, too, because I never would have married my husband if that had been my motivation.

In fact, men who talk about their financial success are obnoxious. Don’t get so down. You’re doing the right thing, moving in the right direction.

I know it sounds trite but honesty is much more enchanting than money.

Good luck.

]]> By: Lost Cause http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself/comment-page-1#comment-1013 Lost Cause Sat, 07 Jul 2007 02:40:53 +0000 http://www.debtkid.com/finding-the-good-in-myself#comment-1013 Do you realize what an important lesson you have been handed, so early in your life? Many people find our the same thing about debt, when they are middle aged, and it is too late to start over for them. In fact, starting over is an important achievement. Do you realize what an important lesson you have been handed, so early in your life? Many people find our the same thing about debt, when they are middle aged, and it is too late to start over for them. In fact, starting over is an important achievement.

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