I haven’t felt like writing much lately. Probably for two reasons:
- I’ve been swamped with work
- My life is boring and sucky right now
OK, so it’s not the worst life, and in all reality I don’t have a day of boringness….ever. The longevity of my situation is getting me down lately. I feel more recluse then ever, and I spent some money unwisely (went to a movie, bought popcorn…etc,) and so I feel bad about that.
Business Update
This is shaping up to be a decent month business wise. We’re on track to do over 9K in revenue maybe even top 10K for the first time this year. All good stuff….but nothing is going as quickly as I would like.
And when things don’t go as quickly as I would like…I start thinking about the rest of my life. The non-business part of my life. And then I realize…I don’t have a non-business part of my life. Except for rare church events and the once or twice a week hangout with my one close friend…my life is all business.
I walk to the store…I carry a notepad to write down business thoughts. I try and watch some TV…I have to check my e-mail or write down a good idea. I think about calling one of the 3-4 people I owe calls…and all I can think about is, “I have absolutely nothing to talk about except my debt (not gonna happen yet) or the business”.
Even the girl that I thought maybe something was gonna happen with….well, I haven’t heard from her since last week. Our seemingly active communication has come to a halt. All the more time to work, right?
Except I’m not always getting the things done I need to get done. I know what I need to do, but here it is 9pm and I’ve been working all day, and I look at my to-do list and half of it still isn’t done. And at this point I’m exhausted, and can’t do half the work anyway.
The thing is….even if I was at zero right now with my debt…I don’t know if I’d be feeling any different right now. That’s the scary part. Even if i had no debt right now, nothing in my day-today life would be that much different. That’s scary.
Car Payments
I finally got my car payments caught up on today. I was about 55 days behind, and last month the darn thing almost got taken away.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
car payments. i remember those. i bet your car is shinier than mine. well i’m sure it is.
I can relate on the feeling of being overwelmed. I feel like all I do is either work or work on school stuff. I’m exasperated because it feels like I’m never making a dent in the workload my classes dole out. My best efforts are not keeping up.
The car payments suck, we are behind too. Sometimes I think would it really be that bad if they did take it?
But I guess my family likes getting around
Nice Blog!
DK I know you have a ton of debt but what’s sad is you said your life would not be different if you were debt free. That should tell you something right there that it’s not the debt that is bringing your life down, it’s you. You decided to go out to a movie and get popcorn, that’s probably $20 bucks spent on entertainment not debt. The guilty feeling is that you could of applied it to debt and be that much closer to getting out.
You’re really letting your business control your life and not drawing any lines. I think your work ethic is amazing but it has controlled your life to the point you don’t have one. Everyone needs to define their sense of self in one way or another, and you let this business and its success define you. I think it’s great your hard work is paying off though and you’ve got almost double digit net revenue. You need to set some priorities or goals to accomplish and stick to them. Hang in there, you’ll be fine.
Hey John — spend $10 on rubbing compound or some wax.
PS, DK — I second Jim — your life is way out of balance, and this is a prime symptom of whatever disease that you have. I have it too, and you really need to set up firewalls and compartmentalize your life. That is what sucessful people do.
spending money on popcorn and a movie is not being wasteful, you can only live on a really tight budget for so long. think about setting aside some money just for yourself, to spend on whatever you want with no guilt.
it’s probably a good time to start to add some other interests into your life, please don’t put off life until you have reached some financial milestone, life is too short for that, you don’t have to have it all together, (no one else does!)
what you are describing sounds like what can be part of a vicious cycle, if you deny yourself to strictly there is more chance that of breaking out in some way.
you are really hard on yourself a lot of the time, give yourself a break! are you still seeing the couselor? it might be good to talk through this next stage, which is about making a lifestyle changes that you can maintain over time and developing a life outside of this debt reduction world,
Dude, sell the car!
To help you get some perspective… go rent “In Pursuit of Happyness”. This a true story and it will help you get some perspective that you are not that bad off after all.
Helps to do a reality check every so often.
Testing new crazy commenting thingy…
Testing this comments thing again…
Casey Serin wants to interview you about your successful short sale. Tell him you will after he eats a huge bug on You Tube.
Oh please tell Casey to eat a bug. Good for you for turning things around…unlike little waiflake.
Are you driving a new car? With all the debt?????That’s unbelievable.
bill,
read the earlier posts, he’s upside down on the car (as is everyone a car is a crazy thing to finance). Which puts him between a rock and hard place, so he’s stuck with it…
Testing new commment thingy….cool, or useless?